The first months of fatherhood arrive like weather: beautiful, unpredictable, and bigger than your jacket. You’re learning what a brand new person needs, protecting a partner you love, and discovering that showing up well is the most powerful thing you can do. That’s why we created Supporting Mom through Pregnancy, Delivery, and Postpartum: Tips for Dads in our work with the National Responsible Fatherhood Clearinghouse (NRFC) — to help you turn love into steps, to turn steps into confidence.

Here’s the big idea: Mothers and babies do better when fathers are informed, present, and ready. Most pregnancy-related deaths are preventable (80 percent, according to the CDC), and nearly two-thirds of these deaths (as reported by The Commonwealth Fund) occur after the baby is born, when everyone assumes the hard part is over. In addition, in many rural areas, research shows that moms must travel 30 miles or more for perinatal care. 

Fathers can’t fix every structural barrier, but we can lower the everyday friction — rides, reminders, rest, and advocacy — and notice red flags early. This vigilance saves lives.

Fathers’ Role in the Pregnancy, Delivery, and Postpartum Periods

So what does “showing up” look like? 

• Before the birth, go to a prenatal class and learn the stages of labor, feeding options, and what helps Mom feel safe. This is not extra credit; it’s game film for the biggest day of your life. Prioritize healthy routines together — walks and meals, for example, and no smoking or alcohol — and check in on your own mental health as responsibilities ramp up.
• During labor, know the birth plan and be Mom’s advocate. Ask clear questions, repeat her preferences when pain makes words hard, and offer comfort — steady breathing, gentle touch, calm room, and kind words. You are not a bystander; you are part of the care team.
• In the weeks after delivery, protect recovery. Handle night feedings with pumped milk or formula, wash bottles and pump parts, change diapers, cook, and manage visitors. Watch for warning signs like heavy bleeding, fever, intense pain, and mood changes, and call the healthcare provider if something seems off. In addition, learn the basics of infant development so you can spot milestones and concerns early.

Feeding matters, and so does support. If Mom is breastfeeding, your job is to make it easier. Offer snacks, water, a clean setup, and encouragement when it’s frustrating. If she’s bottle-feeding, share the nights so her body can heal. In every scenario, your steady presence lowers stress hormones that can affect milk supply, wound healing, and mood.

And Dad, your health matters, too. Expectant fathers can experience hormonal shifts and even “sympathetic pregnancy” symptoms, such as mood swings, anxiety, and irritability. Some dads even face postpartum depression. None of this means you’re failing: It means you’re human. Name it early and get support so you can keep showing up strong.

If you live far from services, think “whole team.” Learn what’s available locally — midwives, lactation consultants, and doulas — and sketch a transportation plan before labor starts. Programs like Dads to Doulas can prepare fathers to be hands-on partners from the first contraction to the fourth trimester. Virtual support groups and telehealth can fill gaps when distance and schedules get in the way.

Two quick, practical lifelines from the NRFC “Supporting Mom” brief:

• For low-cost prenatal care, call 1-800-311-BABY (Spanish: 1-800-504-7081).
• For father-focused help, contact the NRFC Help Center at 1-877-4-DAD-411 and explore free fatherhood resources on Fatherhood.gov.

The brief and the Help Center are key pieces in Fathers Incorporated’s 16-year effort to expand the responsible fatherhood field’s practical tools — tips researchers can study, practitioners can reference, and dads can put to work. 

The early days of a child’s life set a rhythm for the family. When fathers learn, plan, advocate, and rest with intention, moms recover better, babies thrive, and the whole house breathes easier. 

Show up. Ask questions. Carry the load you can carry. Guard the rest and watch the signs. Put the helplines in your phone. And remember, your baby doesn’t need a perfect dad — your baby needs you, present and prepared.